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Your tips----extracted from Housekeeping Monthly Magazine, May 13, 1955.

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Taken from Housekeeping Monthly Magazine, May 13, 1955.

THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

* Gather up school books, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

* Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

* Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

* Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

* Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

* Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

* Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

* Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下家园 / 幸福家庭 / 穿上马甲, 说个心病. 砸砖的不要.
    我的LG来了快6年了, 他先读了2年书,毕业后辗转进了一个大公司, 是很基本的职位, 工资不高. 3W多. 对他现在的工作不是特别满意. 但也不主动换., 业余时间下电影, 看网页.2年又很快过去了.

    我一直劝他多学习, 或者找找工作. 他听不进去. 我们因为这个吵过很多次了. 现在我都不想说了, 一说他就出门.

    家务事我可以做, 但看到他不求上进我就容易生气. 我现在有孕在身,刚申请了sickness EI, 同时在上课.随着我们第二个孩子的到来, 我感觉压力特别大, 我认为自己对生活已经尽力. 可他总是这样让我感觉很没有希望.

    如果他喜欢这样, 我是不是只能调节自己? 我发现越来越难自我调节了, 因为这个已经影响睡眠. 我除了忍耐还有什么方法? 或者应该去看心理医生了?
    • don't expect too much on money, poor people have their life too(r u really poor?), try to understand what ur husbend think without keep asking (keep ask "stupid" question make people go crazy)
      • you got the point, agree with you.
      • Good point.
      • You're in right point. However her bubby should earn a little more. 3W is a little bit short for a 4-member-family.
        • yes, that a nother storey. it is issue on husband side and can't be change without employeement oppotunities. Here LZ is talking about her issues.
    • 他要是对你好,肯帮你作家务,就挺好了。钱够用了,有多多花,有少少花贝。一家人平平安安的,和和睦睦的,就是福。
      • totally agree.
      • ...
        对我好不好也就不说了, 即使怀孕也是我做80%的家务活.
        2个孩子, 没有房子, 车也到年头要换了. 钱是非常不够的.

        我不希望PUSH他很多,可是总是看到他起床就是文学城,或者小说网站,
        所以我才感觉那么没有希望..

        我不明白自己为什么做不到那么洒脱.
        • 其实吧,这个世界上还有好多真正不幸的人,这么比起来咱们就好多了。最起码夫妻团聚,全家平安不是?钱吧,其实你家也够用了,关键是怎么用不是?他不太干家务,但是拿你和孩子好对吧?这也就不错了啊?
          家家都有本难念的经,很多人不说罢了。比比,你们算是好的呢。路将来都越走越好的,一点一点来,不着急,影响到身体,孩子们咋办呢?真得慢慢调整心态,开心的过,这样对孩子也好。

    • 他既然事业上不求上进, 那把主要精力放在家里, 煮饭看孩子, 你好腾出手来学习工作, 也挺好的. 如果两个都不想干, 别给他做饭吃了, 让他专心玩去吧
    • 两个人一起去看心理医生。你的问题严重些……
      • 好难听啊。谁还没点私心希望老公上进?大家又都不是圣人
        • 为啥上进的必须是另一方?
          • 她有了两个孩子,家不太够养,希望老公多赚一点,一家能过好一点的生活,有错吗?女人当然要上进,但有的时候怀孕,带孩子,一拖好几年,也是没有办法的事。
            虽然如果两个人很相爱,共苦是应该的。不过谁也不是圣人,对有想法的人还是理解吧
          • 我不是坐等他努力,然后来分享他的成果的.
            来加3年,没有停止过工作.
            生过一个孩子, 现在这是第二个.
            工作的时候一直在P/T读书, 已经快拿到Accounting certificate了. 目标是CGA.
            因为怀孕+长时间站立工作,, 静脉曲张,不得已我才停止工作,申请 sickness EI.待产并读书.

            你说的好, 单独要求某一方努力是不对的. 家庭就象双轮马车, 我在使劲, 他不动就很让人沮丧.
            • 理解你。。。我觉得好多男的都这样。。。他们也是在逃避。。。
              • 太多男人的承受力不如女人, 一碰到困难, 只会逃避. 是我们从小的教育有问题么?
              • 不错。实在逃不了的就跳楼,跳桥。
            • 别太要强了,悠着点,身体要紧
            • 我觉得唯一的办法是调整自己的期望值, 尽量心平气和的对他. 否则钻到牛角尖里自己痛苦.
              • 我知道这个办法, 可是自己涵养不够, 还是经常情绪化.
                • 很理解, 我自己是做不到的. 有问题的时候尽量退一步, 就当他是个工作伙伴, 把家务事分一半给他做吧.
            • 我也觉得他在等待时机,养精蓄锐。在大公司如果呆上3,5年,日后跳槽的资本,比他现在频繁跳要好。对这种不愿和老婆分享自己意愿的老公,你不要问或逼他,第一他有自己的主义,旁人耐何不得
              第二你的话只能起反作用。你要细心观察,从平时聊天中观察他是真的不求上进,得过且过,还是有一定的野心只是现在没合适机会。退一万步,就算他真的不求上进,你也只能用你的行动而不是语言去影响他,比如,你带着孩子,最后还能干出个样来,你一直积极向上,这样他一定会受到鼓舞。如果你总流露出要他对这个家负责的想法,有一种男人会全面往后退,离开这个家,这样的人的确不好,但你也失败了。这决不是你想要的。
              • 对,在大公司待久了,可以积累跳槽的资本,日后在本公司找到好机会也说不定。不要给对方太大的压力。
    • 你劳工自己怎么说?他对工作不满意,那么对将来自己有打算吗?你要做好老婆你就耐心点。我看他不坏,就是等待时机吧?
    • Your tips----extracted from Housekeeping Monthly Magazine, May 13, 1955.
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Taken from Housekeeping Monthly Magazine, May 13, 1955.

      THE GOOD WIFE'S GUIDE

      * Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

      * Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

      * Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

      * Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

      * Gather up school books, toys, paper etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

      * Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

      * Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

      * Be happy to see him.

      * Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

      * Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

      * Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

      * Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

      * Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

      * Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

      * Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

      * Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

      * Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

      A good wife always knows her place.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • this is a perfect housewife, not only a good wife. And as you pointed out, it's the point of view in year 1955. 50 years old already. Do you have anything up to date?
        • You can find out modern housewives in Rolia up to date, an interesting comparison of housewives in 50s and nowadays。。。
      • 看错了, 还以为是上炕老妈子守则
      • 英文版的三从四德。
    • 他自己不想做,你逼他当然会吵架.都是成年人了,生活上没有负担就别逼他了.
      • 怎么会没负担? 两个小孩. 男人结婚了就要面对婚姻生活带来的责任. 哪能一直这样埋着头当鸵鸟? 太理解楼主的痛苦了.
        • 其实两个人都有工作,就算收入不高,负担又能有多大呢?大不了不买房子而已.很多人痛苦都是自己找的.
          不是说LZ劳工就应该如此,但一个成年人,不到非做不可的地步,你逼他做他并不想做的事,难免会碰钉子.
          生闷气,不如多交流交流,看看老公到底怎么想的.她老公也许不自信,不敢轻易放弃现在的工作,也不知道该往哪个方向发展,多鼓励说不定比多鞭策强.
          • 很有道理, 你肯定是个好太太, 但是如果换是我, 我肯定是做不到的. :)
            • 主要是因为我是家里经常被PUSH的那个.
    • 先脱了MJ,给你对症下药
      • MG大夫加LM大夫。。。
    • Like <robocop> give you some rules: rule#1,嫁鸡随机,rule#2,相濡以沫, rule#3.为所欲为
    • 说句挨砖的话,就这情况,你还敢生老二。成年人是很难改变的,要求对方改变也是不公平的。挺同情你的,他不求上进,就多帮你做家务吧。
    • 这个没有好办法。但是唠叨不起作用,男的很烦唠叨。多和人交往一些,一方面多交流,另一方面也许会让他看到差距。不是要你去作比较,不要说谁谁怎么样(NEVER DO THAT),只是潜移默化一下。
      涨工资说容易容易,说不容易也不容易。还有找不到工作的人哪,要求也别太高,慢慢来。
    • 心情可以理解. 但要相信目前"不求上进"的并不可能是真正的他. 耐心并以合适的方法鼓励他找回自己. 找回自己比找回钱更重要. 他对工作失去信心, 别急得再让他对你, 对家都失去了信心! 同时别忘了共同ENJOY你家庭里还存在的好的方面. 他需要你的帮助!
    • 比你惨的我知道一个:两人来加6年,LG上MBA花不少钱,一天也没工作过...LP断断续续工作,现在LP生了,就靠她的EI.估计两人国内有积蓄吧.朋友们都替她着急,她到是从未表露过什么.现在两口子都在家带孩子,也乐和和的.真的无比佩服她...
    • 女人如果有理想的话,就自己去实现.不管是LG还是BF, 首先尊重他们, 他们有权利选择自己的生活方式, 不要自己的想法强加在别人身上.
      • Very good!
      • 如果有孩子,话就不能这么简单的说了LZ其实要求的不多还谈不上理想什么的.仅仅出于对孩子的责任,双方也要共同承担经济上的负担啊.她只是感觉LG没有尽力罢了.
    • 或者认命,或者自强自立,木别的办法。前提是你依然爱他。
    • 我最恨这些望夫成龙的,俺可受够了,俺被逼着考研,逼着到公司做,逼着出国,逼着找专业工作,逼着开公司自己干,真不知道啥时候到头。
      • 那些成天逼劳工或成天埋怨的女人都没什么出息,自己就很失败.
      • 别把责任都推到对方身上吧, 你一个大男人自己没脑子. 如果那么痛苦, 大不了离婚.
      • 要是没有你老婆,你肯定比现在混的差多了。。。陈世美过河拆桥的时候会觉得自己挺有理的。。。
        • 说的极是
    • LG有3W多,再加上你的,每个月税后有2000~3000吧?省着点儿花,能对付,这儿吃的便宜,慢慢会好的。有多少家庭还不如你呢!要根据自家的情况和你LG的能力,降低期望值,否则就是自己把自己往死路上逼!
      • 再说了,孩子可是无价之宝。多少人想要还怀不上呢!
      • 不是钱多少的问题, 是LG心态的问题, 如果男人是快乐的积极的有担当的, 女人也会是快乐, 一个男人老那么粘答答, 死气沉沉的不知道自己在干什么, 不知道自己在家庭中的位置是什么, 可真让人受不了. :)
    • 问题这么多,还要第二个孩子干什么呢?
      • 楼主大踏步的前进,要求老公跟上步伐呗。
    • 大家说得都很对。不能太逼他,只能起反作用。你自己一定要保持积极的态度,希望能影响他。我LG挣得多些,可也是花大量的时间在网上,有时真生气。退一步想,大家都不容易,全家平安即是福。
    • Life sucks
    • 好像跳桥的那个也是年薪3万, 2个孩子。你留神吧。
      • 你可别净吓唬人。那样的毕竟是极端,少数。
        • 什么事都要提早预防
    • 才3万怎么够花啊,你老工对物质就没点追求吗?看着这东西那东西的就不想买?按说钱应该是很大的动力啊,这都没推动?
    • 这个,也是个难题,既然成了家,就应该担负起各自的责任;可是个人想法不同,价值观不同,加上惰性等,矛盾就出来了,怎么处理,看你智慧,也看他悟性,最后还看运气,目前看 他的努力不够。
    • 带他一起去培训学校听讲座,交一些同行业的朋友,从侧面影响他会不会更好些?想开点儿,孩子更重要。
    • 完全理解. 别逼他, 我觉得生活实在不容易.相互鼓励一下吧.其实, 生活中比你们惨的人还多的很,两个人多交流.经济的压力的确会把人推向烦躁, 可是, 唠叨有时候会起反作用.
      一个男人如果爱老婆的话, 他一定会努力改善生活, 并尽力担负起责任的.慢慢来.
    • 加拿大不会饿死人的,老公还有3万多年薪,不错了。知足常乐。
    • 问一下,这种压力下,为什么还要第二个?另外,生活就是要不断的compromise,没办法,只不过看你愿意compromise哪方面
    • 我家LG有一段时间要买XBOX,我说你换个高薪的工作,就买,再给你2000块钱买彩票,结果他真的换了工作,但是他自己发现,说太忙,买了也没有玩.至于买彩票,他说一般都是给他人做贡献了.也给我省了.
    • 天哪, 三万怎么过日子啊. 让你LG去打第二份工啊...
    • 每个人的性格不同,能力不同,很难强求。如果结婚前没看出来,现在就认命了吧。
      • 狠同意.
    • 你的问题,不是你的老公问题。
    • 三万元,你还要养孩子?笑话,移民加拿大的女人啊。。。
    • 哈哈哈,我狂笑3声
      今天跟他说,买房是男人的事, 他说那女人干什么?
      我说女人可以做饭. 他说,我们还是分开, 我给你租个房子, 我可以给你买菜, 吃饭还在一起, 我问你让我一个人出去生孩子? 他说你生孩子的时候我可以去陪你.

      这是什么样的男人? 我真笑我自己! 忍.忍忍. 忍到最后还是退路没有....

      我跑出门,走在路上真是又哭又笑... 真想找个地方立刻离开, 真是万恶的移民婚姻.
    • 农村长大的独生子吧,自以为是的典型代表。3W的男人基本属于3等残废。
      • 真的是你的问题, 不是你老公的, 竟然问这样的话. 你是孕期压力太大, 看看心理医生会好些.
    • 爱你的丈夫就不要逼他,你可以诱导,影响他。不要用收入来衡量人。如果你不能放弃这种衡量人的标准,请狠下心,另找一个。不用天天痛苦。
      • AGREE.
      • 但说不定会更痛苦!
    • 3万也不少啦, 争个5万上完税和3万也差不多.
      • 哥们,差挺多的
    • 我有一对朋友夫妻,男的收入还没有三万,女的没有工作,两个孩子,他们没有买房子
      但他们的生活态度都是很积极的,他们一家四口的那种幸福开心经常都能够感染周围的朋友,钱多有钱多的花法,钱少有钱少的花法。其实你们并不算差的,可能是你本身太好强了,想开一点,尤其是怀着孩子,别太逼老公了,家庭状况怎么样,你老公心里肯定也是清楚的。调整自己的心态可能更好些。
    • 姐姐,其实挺可怜你的,中国式婚姻的最通病!
      我觉得你找的老公不是不优秀,不是不能干,可是他就是不会爱一个人,不会爱这个家,跟他出生到现在多年来的教育和成长有关,回复中有人说他是农村长大的,我也是这么觉得的.寻求终生伴侣不仅仅是需要智商更多的应该是情商.其实很多知识份子都很欠缺这点,很多从农村考出来的孩子更是。更多的时候,我们看到工人家庭反而活得是特别快活.
      但你们现在已经走到这步来了,我们不能抱以太多的怨言,我觉得唯一的出路,就是放下你自己的包袱.比如学业、事业、各种生活重任……人生的前途还漫长,而你找的是一个不太会和你分担忧愁的伴侣,所以你只有自己卸下包袱,轻装上阵,才会走得轻松,活得愉快.
      我不太懂什么大道理,可是真心希望你不要太烦恼,女人烦恼是自己跟自己找罪受。好男人是女人调教出来的,如果调教不出来,也不应烦恼,面对事实,好歹,他还是恋家的。多想想他的好处什么的。如果你遇到的是个非常优秀的老公,相信你也不会快乐到哪里去的,这个不多说,你也应该会明白。
      所以,还是那句老话:退一步海阔天空!
      • 这种男人很难调教。